Brexit: What would David Bowie and Catherine Deneuve and Henry VIII say?

David Bowie and Catherine Deneuve in 1982
Photo by Jean-Claude Deutsch

The photo above shows David Bowie and Catherine Deneuve in Tony Scott's "The Hunger" movie. She played an immortal vampire who wanted only blood from the handsome British man who carried a brutal torch for la belle dame sans merci.  The next fall, David released his anthem for youth and romance, "Modern Love."  The song foresees the angst of the Brexit vote.  

...

Puts my trust in God and Man 

   (Chorus)  God and Man 

No confessions! 

   (Chorus)  God and Man 

No religion 

   (Chorus)  God and Man 

Don't believe In Modern Love 

It's not really work 

It's just the power to charm 

I'm still standing in the wind 

But I never wave bye bye 

But I try, I try 

Never gonna fall for 

   (Chorus)  Modern Love 

... 

With deep sadness we know the brilliant and aware David Bowie is gone now.  But we can say without doubt that both David and Catherine would be on the Remain side of the question.  With their extraordinary artistry and planetary good looks they became international in a stratospheric sense.  

Now let's look at Henry.  Yes, for god and man, Henry VIII would have ordered the UK to vote to Exit.  It is helpful to consider the entire Brexit movement as retro Henry without any actual beheadings.  Please recall that Henry got all astir because the Pope in Rome wouldn’t grant him a divorce.  In retort, Henry decided to start his own church and told the Pope to back off.  The English people loved that ancient stiff upper lip.  You can almost hear his resolve, "Hey Pope, you can't push me or my brilliant people around!"  Henry also invaded France, and he was a paranoid and dictatorial type who ordered quick execution for any suspected traitors just like he beheaded those wives.  

A sturdy confident portrait of Henry VIII 
by the workshop of Hans Holbein the Younger ≈ 1497

Now let’s all remember one of my favorite English Pop groups from 1965, Herman’s Hermits.  Long before The Knack, long before Abba, and long, long before Brittny Spears the Hermits got the number one slot in Billboard with their cover of a 1910 piece of doggerel called “I’m Henry VIII, I Am.”   It was a snarky takedown of Henry and his doomed wives.  Some of the old band are still touring around as recently as last year.  

Now that Brexit leader Boris Johnson has decisively won the Exit, this former Mayor of London will certainly run for Prime Minister to replace David Cameron.  So you heard it her first, this is certainly going to be Boris Johnson’s Campaign anthem!  Here’s the basic lyrics, to be expressed with the same blustery confidence of the Brexit leader, Boris Johnson.  Recite the song to yourself using your best East London mouthings.  

...

I’m 'Enery the Eighth, I am, 'Enery the Eighth I am, I am! 

I got married to the widow next door! 

She's been married seven times before! 

And every one was an 'Enery.  She wouldn't have a Willie nor a Sam! 

I'm her eighth old man named 'Enery, ‘Enery the Eighth, I am! 

...

And because the original song’s copyright has now expired, the Boris’s campaign can use it for free.  

One more thing, in this photo the gorgeous Boris and his normal hairdo calls to mind the Make America Great Again, Donald Trump.  

Can the Boris make England great again?  

The Boris Johnson:  Ready steady go!