The Donald and The Great Debate 1.00

 

Donald Trump

The Donald Goes On TV Tonight
  
The Donald will finesse this little burp of TV media.

Give the Donald some slack.  He's better qualified than any other republican so far.  I know, I know, I know the bar is pretty damn low... like a centimeter from the deck, but listen.  

Do not underestimate Donald Trump.  Why?  Because the Donald is perfect!

Perfect!  Perfect!  Perfect!  Donald Trump is the perfect republican candidate!

Of course Trump would make a terrible POTUS, but no true republican really cares whether their candidate is a good President.  QED.  

Most true and faithful republicans watch the candidates with basically three different questions in mind.  First, has the candidate a feverish god-fearing attitude and shivering need to abolish abortions and destroy any of the people involved?  Second, has the candidate a hatred of all things to do with the false science of climate change?  Third, as the current tea party republican candidate polls say, "No more lawyers!  Only nice regular people just like George W. Bush!"  

All these requirements are the Donald!  The Donald is a good god-fearer!  He is a church man since childhood!  But most important the Donald said this on TV, "I am pro-life and I pledge to fight for the reversal of ObamaCare, which contains abortion funding loopholes."  

The Donald hates climate change!  This past February he declared snow as proof that there's no climate change.  

Lastly the Donald went to Business school at Penn.  George W. went to Business school at Harvard.  The Donald is as regular as George W!  

So it is proven positively!  The Donald is the one!  

Wait!  Wait, is Donald playing the media like no one else!  He's playing all those tea party cable TV celebrities like a Star-Wars HD video game machine.

But wait.  Donald may be a red herring distracting us from something unknown.  So what ruse is this?

Trump met last month with Karl Rove's boss, the top tea party republican spin weenie* Roger Ailes, who runs Fox TV?

Then the Donald shakes things up by trashing John McCain!  Then ironically, Trump comes out with the McCain Desperation Move by coupling with Sarah Palin!  Then he sports a baseball cap to hide his bad hair days!  It's like 2008 and 2012 all over again!  In January the Donald practically called Mitt Romney a loser.  And then the Donald dissed Jeb Bush because of Jeb's immigration stands.  


The Donald Goes to Fox TV
 
If we use our imaginations we can hear old Roger Ailes telling the Donald what needs to be done and how the Mitten Romney blew it and how the Koch Brothers are watching him.

The Donald, "Roger, I'm here because I want you to feel comfortable with me running."

Roger Ailes sipping a Jamba coconut juice smoothie, "Sure and I want you to know I'm completely okay with that.  As a matter of fact I'm very comfortable with you rousing the press and waking up the bedrock core of our party."

The Donald's eyes tighten, "Which party is that Roger?  The tea party?  The State's Rights Party"  The Koch Koch Klan™?  Or the republicans? I'm the republican, and I always have been!  I'm the foundation!  I'm the everything!  I'm it Roger! I'm the Donald!"

Roger's eyes open wider, "Yes, the Donald.  We all know that!  We need a POTUS win and we can change the world!  The Mitten has left a very sour taste in our mouths here at Command Center.  Don't make the same mistakes Donald!  David Koch told me today that you never return his calls.  Or Charlie Koch's either!  Don't think you are better than the Kochs!  They are our friends to the grave!  You need to love them!  I love them!  Karl Rove loves them too!"

The Donald smirks, "Yes, I'll return his calls, Roger.  I must be going now.  CBS wants to interview me.  So does NBC.  Goodbye Roger.  See you around town."  

Roger purses his lips and bows his head a little and jiggles his shoulder as if he's shaking off a dust bunny.  

  
The Donald and The Job
  
Hey the Donald!  Will all those republican rubes vote for you, Donald?  God surely spoke to you and told you to run for the job?  If not god then Fox TV and Karl Rove and Ayn Rand spoke to you.  Those republican rubes are grand!  They will believe in you!  The Donald is hired!  

Perfect Donald Trump!  You are the perfect tea party republican candidate! You are more perfect than John McCain.  You are even more perfect than Mitt Romney.  Of course, you must remember that Romney's family lived in Mexico for years.  You could send the boys down there to hunt for rapists and smugglers!

One more thing:  All you tea party and republican wannabe's, you are out of your league. 

Don't even try to trump Trump!  The Donald is the Media Master!

Go the Donald!  Go the Donald!  Go the Donald!  Go, go, go….

The Donald's Signature

*  At this update 07/27/2016, Roger Ailes has now been fired at Fox News.  Having no more future in tea party imaginary media at Fox maybe Ailes could get hired at the Noah's ark roadside attraction down in Kentucky as a greeter.  About spin weenies: generally any master of deceit in media and politics who tries to damage and disparage our nation is a spin weenie.  For an expanded definition see the earlier blog post, "How the Spin Weenies Damage & Disparage America."